don't talk to me

This school year has been full of changes. For the first time in many years, I only have to get me dressed, fed, and out the door. I didn't feel guilty that I never made it to teachers' rooms during open house; I only have to remember my homework at the end of the day; and for parent-me, progress report night was a stress free evening. And for these first two months of school, Lovey hasn't had any chickens. For those of you who don't chicken farm, this might not mean much. But I tell you, it changes everything.

Each morning I have gotten up and dressed in complete silence. Well, except for maybe talking to the dogs, but even they haven't gotten up many times. No one to rush along. No one to bump around. I make my coffee, take my shower, gather my things, and don't have to say a word until I'm ready to walk out the door.

But my morning paradise is coming to an end. Lovey gets chickens back in just over a week. Then he will be getting up early again. He won't think at all that I have been doing things at the same time now for over two months. Even after 21 years, he won't consider that I don't care what the temperature is outside; I don't want to discuss this week's weather forecast; and I am not going to wear a jacket to walk 10 feet to my car, drive to school, and then walk 20 feet to the door. And while there are two sinks in our bathroom - I'd rather not use mine while he uses his. I don't want to get dressed while he puts on his socks. And no, I don't want to brush my teeth while he pees.

Through the years I have explained to him that I need my quiet time in the mornings. I have told him that growing up, I sat in the kitchen alone to eat my breakfast. I have huffed at him. Ignored him. Rolled my eyes. Closed the door in his face. And been down right mean. He just doesn't get it.

I need my own bathroom. By next week.

the scenic route

My house is at the end of a gravel road.

It's about a mile from here to the highway.

That's a mile of vibration along a gravel washboard.

It can be grimy and dusty or muddy and slippery.

Sometimes I hate driving on this gravel road.

But in the fall - I love the scenery.

this is no democracy

Last night while I ate supper, I was thinking of the millions of things that need to be done in this house. And knowing that I would have to do a marathon cleaning to even get close to getting it done. And that would mean an entire Saturday. Cleaning. Dusting. Organizing. Washing. Scrubbing. And I knew I didn't want to give up an entire Saturday to do any of that. I had to come up with a plan.

So I declared a Momma Rule.

I don't use it often. The best Momma Rule I have ever enacted is the laundry rule: everyone over the age of ten must wash, dry, fold and put away his/her own laundry. It works wonderfully. I pick up some slack during the summer and during Christmas break when I'm not working, and maybe when I know someone has had a bad week, but most of the time I'm only responsible for my own laundry. I have to admit that there have been occasional catastrophes - like the time the big boy washed and dried a black gel pen with an entire load of new spring shirts and shorts. And EVERYTHING had black ink on it. Luckily, I found a cleaner that got most of it out - and he wore the rest with a little black ink on it.

Another Momma Rule - the momma doesn't take out the garbage. And in the last few years, I rarely have. And I have to say that Baby Jus is pretty good about doing it without even being told.

I occasionally pull a single night the-one-who-cooks-doesn't-clean-the-kitchen Momma Rule. But honestly I try not to use too many. Because I'm frugal with the power, they don't question me too much when I proclaim a new rule.

So because I have a few Momma Rules to use. And because I needed a plan to get this house clean without giving up my Saturdays forever and always. Last night I walked into the living room and proclaimed, "Momma Rule. Beginning tonight, everyone is required to clean for 30 minutes each night." There are no rules about what has to be done, no schedule. Everyone gets to choose the job he/she wants to do on that particular night. The only thing that doesn't count is laundry.

I love Momma Rule.

no coherence here

Not that I'm normally coherent. But I wanted to give you plenty of warning. So you wouldn't get your hopes up that today would be the day.

My momma's birthday is this week. And my step-dad's birthday was Sunday, so we cooked lunch on Sunday. I made shrimp pasta. Not to brag - but it was scrumptious! My SIL Ashley brought her yummy bread. I would cook lunch every Sunday if she would bring her yummy bread.

Lovey has hogs in his hay field. And his hay field has taken a beaten already this year. It didn't need any more punishment. He set a trap last Friday. He hasn't caught a hog yet. The hogs have figured out how to dig under the trap and get the bait without actually going inside it. Lovey is not happy. And if Lovey ain't happy...well, he just isn't happy, and I sometimes laugh at him about it.

We interrupt this post to bring you breaking news....

As I type this post I hear Lovey go, "Oh." I look over and crack up. He has the dog comb that I got for Jacob - the kind to comb out the loose hairs. And he has it stuck in HIS hair.   GOOBER!


Yesterday my new glasses finally came in. I broke mine at the beginning of summer and have been wearing cheater-readers. I hate the on-off-on-off all day. Today was great to be able to look up and focus without taking glasses off. And I didn't spend half of my day looking for glasses.

Today was a long day. I leave each morning just after 7:00. I tutor from 7:30-7:55, do my literacy coach stuff until 11:15, then teach all afternoon. Most days I get home between 4:45-5:15. But tonight was parent/teacher conferences. I didn't get home until about 8:15. There was an upside though. Each year we have faculty t-shirts that we wear each Wednesday. This year we were a little late getting those ordered. They just came in last week. Our principal decided that we should wear them for the first time today/tonight. I think this should become a tradition.

I have plans to join a friend early Saturdy morning for junking - hit a few garage sales and maybe an estate sale or two. How goofy is it that I am excited about that? We'll have fun even if we don't find any great deals. But I hope to find something fantastic!

why i can never find socks

She sneaks in from the bedroom.

Head down, refusing to look anyone in the eye.

With anything else, I can just tell her to spit it out, and she drops whatever she's chewing.

Doesn't she sort of look like that commercial where the dog has dentures? And isn't it a big mouthful? Just how many socks are in there?

TWO! The socks I wore on my walk last night. She stayed in that spot, guarding the socks for about an hour. Doesn't she look so sad that I have made her spit them out? She usually hides them. Under that pillow, beneath a blanket, between the couch cushions. But her most secretive, favorite spot - under Lovey's pillow! he-he-he!

an analogy

Jake : Lucy :: Monday : me


I try to prepare myself - face it head on.

But occasionally, I let my guard down, relax, even try to squeeze in a nap.

And BAM! Monday sneaks up on me!

Coming out of nowhere,

grabbing me by the throat,

holding me down.

Sometimes I think I have broken its hold,

but if I'm not careful, it comes back,

And bites me in the butt.

pre-dawn ramblings

Why is it that on Sunday morning my eyes pop open at 4 a.m., and I can't go back to sleep for anything; and tomorrow morning when the alarm chirps at 5:30, I won't be able to focus my eyes enough to get out of bed for at least 15 minutes? Drives. Me. Insane.

On a much more serious note - 9/11/2011. Has it really been 10 years? Has it only been 10 years? At times it seems like only yesterday. Watching news footage of that day can immediately bring back the fear and sorrow and longing to collect my family and hold them close. I can't imagine what it will be like for those families who will visit the NYC WTC memorial today. My thoughts and prayers go out to them.

Last night Brooke and I took a small contagion of our youth group to Warren for an outdoor concert. It was a quickly planned trip. We saw the band Two Empty Chairs at a youth conference last winter, and when we saw a poster advertising a concert, wanted to go hear them again. Many of the kids had previous plans, but we had enough to remind me that I have missed spending time with them each week. Tonight we officially start back to UMY, and I am excited - it's going to be a great year.

I am writing in my usual position. Squished to one side of the chair because Lucy Mercer has to have the other. And Jacob can't quite figure out where his spot is. As of this moment he is sleeping on the ottoman. I can't move, or he thinks I want him in the already crowded chair. He frequently "helps" me type. Which explains the two keys currently missing on this keyboard.

Yesterday as I was vacuuming, I decided to stop and order a part for my Dyson. The bottom plate needs to be replaced. The tiny wheels stopped rolling and have worn down so that now it sometimes sits too close to the floor and can't get enough air do its job. I've been meaning to order a new part for some time now but only think about it when I am using the vacuum. Anyway, Lovey came in just as I was finding the Dyson website. I asked him to look on the machine and tell me the model. Well one thing led to another, several parts were removed from the vacuum, and when nothing else would just pop off, Lovey went for tools. About an hour later, I just decided to proceed without him. The vacuum is back together, the floors have been cleaned, and I still haven't ordered a new plate with tiny wheels. But I do have some advice for you: if it's been a while (or maybe never) since you've cleaned the undercarriage of your vacuum, and you can't be exactly sure what someone else might have sucked up with it - don't look, just go buy a new vacuum.

why i don't watch horror movies

“One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place”. -Emily Dickinson

Never one for horror movies or books that chill the reader to the core and interrupt sleep, I much prefer to spend my money on entertainment which lets me escape my ghosts and avoid my nightmares. As a child I was terrified by the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. Now Harry Potter keeps me peering between fingers. Castle and an hour of who's getting voted off tonight is the most suspense I care to witness.

I don't understand the obsession with horror and suspense in books and movies. LIFE is scary enough for me.

I can torture myself with the what-if's of growing up, raising a family, growing old.

Crave a little terror? I just sit down with this month's bills and last month's bank statement. If that's not scary enough, I watch the news and then browse my retirement accounts.

Want to be so scared I can't sleep? I try calling or texting my boys on a Friday or Saturday night and wait on their response.

If I want to spend a few hours with pulse pounding, sitting on the edge of my seat, I take a scan of those questionable moles popping up all over my body.  Not suspenseful enough? Waiting for mammogram results can almost send me into cardiac arrest. Oh, why did I have to go THERE? Is that chest pain a heart attack or indigestion? Is this just a tension headache or a growing brain tumor?

And almost everyday I come home to a true who-dunit. That can leave me guessing for hours.

 

Don't judge me because I stick with romantic comedy, Pixar and Disney. Sometimes I need to get out of my head - escape my haunted chamber.  

 

you just can't complain on days like this

My morning was a bit of a blur - a productive blur, but still a blur. You can read a bit about it here.

Then my afternoon classes came in. Just as the students were settling in, the office called for  all seventh graders to go for school pictures. Picture day is always a bit crazy.

Then my creative writing class came in. Yesterday was such a beautiful day, and we took advantage of it. The girls came in and asked to take class outside. I simply asked that they pay attention to their surrounds and incorporate it into their writing through imagery. So today they read their products. I heard poems, stories, and the best "it's not really anything - I just rambled" that I've ever heard. Those girls inspire me every day.

During seventh period, I got the phone call. The one I had been dreading all day. The one I had avoided.
A few weeks ago brother called, Daddy would be having a biopsy on September 7. The doctors had found a spot on his lungs, and it had gotten bigger. So today, I was glad to be busy. Glad to have the distractions. But the call eventually came.

The procedure was over. The CAT scan was long. Daddy was getting discouraged and nervous. They kept him in the machine for what seemed like such a long time. He was feeling claustrophobic. He was imagining the absolute worst. Finally, the scan ended. And the doctor came in for a conference. They had checked and re-checked.

THERE. WAS. NO. SPOT.

PRAISE GOD!

God is good ALL THE TIME! Who can complain on days like this?

a photo shoot

Well technically it was a Labor Day cookout with family and friends. But I never have pictures of me. I'm always behind the camera. Or on the rare occasion that Lovey picks up the camera, I quickly decide that the pics are horrible and delete them. And there are very few pics of me.

So today while we were sitting outside enjoying a beautiful day, I handed him the camera and let him click away. With just a little coaching.

The back lighting on this one was bad. He took several; this was the only one I could lighten enough to work.

It was a very blustery day. Not good for hair, but I'm not deleting.

This is my favorite. If I was really good with photoshop, I would give me a new background.

He was being a goofball. Wish the glasses weren't screwing with the hair. But not deleting.

If I was good with photoshop...I would do a full body lipo of this pic.

Not too good - not too bad.

Late in the day, my friend Carrie took this one. She was clicking away with her camera and noticed the light was doing that wonderful thing that it does in the late evening. So she grabbed my camera and shot a few of me.

And the light WAS just right.

Why do we find it so hard to look at pictures of us? I think moms are usually guilty of this. One day our kids will look through the pictures and wonder where the mom pics are.  Now my kids will wonder why I only wore this shirt.

Isn't it time for you to have a photo shoot?

A disclosure statement:

When Lovey was being such a goofball, here's the picture he was taking. He didn't chop my head off by accident, that was purposeful framing.

See why I delete most of his pictures? Goofball.

a last minute invitation

My niece Emy started her college career today. For the last few weeks she has been busy moving into her new apartment and getting settled in. And I have been missing her. So tonight when Lovey and I made a quick trip to town, I texted her, "If you want pizza fir supper me and uncle keith are at mazzio's. We're buying." (don't you love the grammar and spelling? when i txt i forget all rules)

Her response? "Yay! What time lol" and then "I'm not dressed nice. Fair warning."

I sent back, "Neither is uncle keith. Fair warning."

And then she tweeted something about me being the absolute best aunt in the entire world and also her favorite. Or something like that - I'm sure she meant that any.

It was so good to have a few minutes to visit with her. To catch up on what's going on during this busy, exciting time of her life. During the conversation she mentioned that her mom and dad were in town last night and called her for supper. And while they were eating, my sister saw her car at the restaurant and came in to check on her.  I don't think she is going to get a chance to get homesick. Or hungry.

with boys, you just never know

Growing up, my brother, sister and I had a few critters. Some that we brought home first and then asked to keep. I can remember my daddy waking us up with a baby squirrel he caught while coon hunting. Once we brought home baby rabbits that our dog discovered first. My mom had to sew a few wounds with needle and thread. And I think the dog managed to turn the cage over and get the babies a few days later. So I wasn't surprised when my boys first begged for cute little puppies.

Over the past 14 years, our house had been home to various dogs and cats, a tame rabbit, a wild rabbit, hermit crabs, some kind of rodent, a flying squirrel, a secret project involving spiders, a baby deer, orphaned calves, and a few wild hogs. When I hear the words, "Momma, come see what we caught!" I never know what to expect. Sometimes I'm scared to ask.

This afternoon, I was enjoying a peaceful house when I heard the call, "Momma, you want to come look?" I know there are puppies that I haven't seen yet, so I hoped for puppies. But no. It was a hog. Not a baby pig. A young hog. Caught this morning in a trap set in an uncle's field and wrestled out of said trap to bring home and turn loose in a former dog pen turned hog pen. Before I went to see today's catch, I was shown a stab wound to the leg. Seems Baby Jus let a knife slip while trying to cut the hog loose and stabbed Big Boy in the calf. What's a good hog story without a scar to show? Right?

The last time he brought a pig home, it had to be bottle fed. It was cute and cuddly. Well, as cuddly as a pig can be. And it grew and grew. But we all had fallen for that cute cuddly baby, and we loved that big ugly pig. Today's pig was neither cute nor cuddly. He was mean. And I was happy to hear, "Bryan's coming to get him."

And he has. I wonder if Bryan walks in the house saying, "Momma, you want to come look?"

a rainy, lazy Saturday

The rain set in sometime last night. And the lightning. Around 3 a.m. there was a CRACK and brightness and the house shook terribly. And then Lovey and I went right back to sleep. Usually I'm nervous during a storm, but last night I was just so tired, and the sound of the much needed rain was more of a comfort than a threat.

And after lunch today, the rain returned. And this house napped. Such a rarity to have everyone at home, and even more to have everyone resting, recharging. It just doesn't happen often. All chores were forgotten. No to-do's were done. Today we simply napped. And it was glorious.

Now everyone is awake. Lovey went to visit his momma. The boys are ready to go out for the night. And the dogs are just back from a romp in the new creek stretching across the hayfield. Wet. Muddy. Happy.

And a new to-do list: give dogs a bath.

And I'm so happy to have a break in the heat that I don't even mind.

For the Record

My desk in clean!

There are people who would say that my desk is NEVER clean. They are wrong.

Granted, today is the first day that I have worked at said desk since it had to be cleared for summer vacation.

But today, my desk is clean. For the record.

VBS

This past week we had Vacation Bible School.

So a part of each day was spent preparing some part of the night's lesson. And then we were at the church until almost 9:00 each night.

VBS - it's one of those things I dread all summer long. But during the week I always decide that it isn't as bad as I had expected.

 Don't get me wrong; I am always tired and so busy, but it is a fun week.

This year the thing that got me through was watching the teenagers work. They act as team leaders, class room helpers, sound system operators, and fill in wherever needed.

They were

awesome

this week!

I am blessed to be a small part of their lives and to see God working in and through them.

GPS needed

All of my life I've heard the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

In May, I had such grand intentions for the summer. Most of which involved cleaning and organization. But some included spending time with family and friends and getting a headstart on the next school year. Then June came. And those days at the lake. Where I forget what day of the week it is. And suddenly it's July 4th. I have a love/hate relationship with that holiday. That day has flashing lights and caution signs.

Warning! Warning! You are now on the downside of your summer! It's all down hill from here. School will be starting before you know it!

After all these years of teaching, I know it. I dread it. And still it catches me.  All those things that I intended to do during my summer can't possible be squeezed into these few short weeks. This year there was a new baby and a family wedding. And those took precedence over all other plans.

And this week there's VBS. It's at night, so technically I have all day to do what needs to be done. But part of that day is spent preparing for the night's lesson. And then I leave early to get things set up. I have a great partner. She reminded me last night that I promised to come swimming with her this summer, and now summer is over, and I haven't been to her house even once. I even promised her a few weeks ago, "I'm coming swimming next week." But it was the week of the wedding, and I didn't have time to poop that week much less go swimming.

I intended to have lunch with coworkers. Get acquainted with the new teacher before school. But it hasn't happened. I haven't even managed to get her phone number. And I have tried several times. So instead of jumping in and getting real work done those first few days back, we'll be doing that awkward getting-to-know-you dance. I don't have time for being nice when school starts! So I'll end up saying something bossy or demanding or worse, and it will take weeks to get past it and just work.

I intended to make it for sisters day at the Country Store. My mother has nine brothers and sisters. Every Wednesday the majority of them meet at the store for lunch. It is quite a crowd. Kids, grandkids, aunts, uncles, and cousins all join the fun when possible. And since I can't go during the school year, I had intentions of going several times this summer. I've made it one time. Next Wednesday is my last shot. Dare I say it?  I intend to be there.

My truck came with a GPS. It talks to me. I have named her LaTisha. I can map my destination, and Latisha guides me along. "Right turn in one quarter mile." Right turn in 100 feet." She keeps me on course. And if for some reason I stray, she reminds me. "Please make a legal u-turn." "Please make a legal u-turn." Over and over until I get back on the designated course or am at least headed towards my original destination. I need a Latisha to guide me through my summers. To guide me all year! Someone to remind me to make that u-turn and get back on track. Sometimes I need to be reminded of my intended destination.

I've got a sick baby

He came in at an odd time yesterday to get something for a headache. And that was unusual. He sometimes makes a quick trip back from the chicken houses for forgotten allergy medicine. But this time he just wanted something for a headache. When he came back at lunch, he didn't want lunch. And I knew he was sick!

I made him take a cool shower and drink a cool glass of ice water. I wondered if maybe he was a bit dehydrated. He crawled to the couch for a quick nap and then returned to work. An hour or so later I was on my way to finish setting up for VBS and stopped by to check on him. The vomiting had begun. Lovey had just returned from raking hay and sent him home to rest. I went on to the church.

Later I had a missed call and then a text. "Are you done yet?" He was still throwing up and now running a fever. And he wanted ginger ale. So, it was a late night run to Walmart for momma. Ginger ale, Gatorade, Tylenol, and ingredients for magic potato soup. Oh, and cat food - always cat food, but not for Baby Jus.

After a ginger ale, some Tylenol, and later a Gatorade, he went back to sleep. This morning the fever is still here. And he is still in bed. Under his tuddly blanket. The dinosaur blanket I made him in elementary school when the tuddly blanket made for preschool no longer covered the legs and body at the same time. And he was disappointed that I wouldn't just add extensions to the worn and faded favorite.

Later today I'll be making magic potato soup. And delivering ice cold glasses of ginger ale. And tucking in that almost 19 year old baby of mine.

During the three weeks or so that I was unable to blog I had such great ideas for posts. I started so many interesting, intelligent, intriguing posts in my head. Did I put pen to paper? Did I record any of those ideas? No. Today I spent about two hours riding the lawn mower. When my sister-in-law mows her yard, she puts in her headphones and jams; I never do that. I have always used lawn mower time to collect my thoughts - plan lessons, dream up the plan for carrying out whatever endeavor looms on the horizon. I have discussed this a bit before. My family sometimes accuse me of being a huge procrastinator, and I am a bit of one. But much of the time that I am doing other things, like riding the mower, I am thinking and planning. When I was trying to finish college, I often had several papers to write and more than one novel to read. I usually can't just sit down and write; I have to mull it over while doing something else. Many of my essays were planned as I cooked dinner or went for a walk. Today when I got on that mower, I might as well have put in the headphones. My mind was blank. Or maybe spinning so fast that nothing could drop out enough to focus my thoughts.

I have had a very busy week helping to decorate for my nephews wedding. And I am moving into my it's-almost-August-school-starting-what-am-I-going-to-teach panic mode that hits me every summer even after almost 20 years of teaching. There are some other issues just buzzing around in this head of mine. I am blaming all of this for my lack of focus. Am I the only one who lets so much get to spinning around in my head that it can't fall out? Like that ride at the fair where you stand up and the thing spins so fast that you are held against the wall and couldn't move no matter how hard you tried. It affects my sleep. I wake up with a million things running through my mind. I feel like I could think clearly if I could just get a good night's sleep; but I can't get a good night's sleep because I can't clear my thoughts. It's a vicious circle. Are there any men out there who do this? Is it a woman thing? A momma thing? A crazy thing?

So many ideas are lost when I am in one of these sleep deprived phases. I wake up in the middle of the night with a great idea, or I think of something when I am nowhere near a computer. And when I can finally get to the computer, the  idea is completely gone or is missing a key component. In hopes of grabbing a few of those potentially brilliant moments, I bought a cute little journal last week. And it has been on the kitchen table since I brought it in the house. Until yesterday, I honestly haven't had time to even think about it, and as I've said already, today was a total blank.

After mowing, I worked on some lesson plans for the new school year. I managed not to take that much wanted nap this afternoon, and now I am very sleepy. I am going to take that journal and put it on my bedside just in case I wake up with a great idea spinning around in this head of mine. And if I don't wake up, maybe I'll get enough rest so that I can focus on one particular thing instead of not focusing on a million things.

I've Been Feeling a Little Disconnected

Finally! I am posting again. My life has been a tad crazy lately and through it all there was a crashing of computer. After my two week camping trip, I had to take Lovey for his final checkup at the doctor whose office is almost 5 hours away, later that day my great nephew made his arrival, after getting mommy and new baby settled, we all shifted into wedding mode. I spent my afternoon napping to recover from a very busy week of decorating. It's sad to say, but my porch is still cluttered with camping things to put away. Craziness! I am looking forward to a much slower week. And am sad to say it will be my last "free" week of summer.

Here are some of my favorite pics of the last few weeks.

an early morning rodeo with Lovey

 

a crazy romp after a cooling rainstorm

 an amazing sunset

jumps on the 4th

 my great nephew

mini lemon ice box pies on the groom's table - yummy!

Yesterday after the wedding, I crashed. Then I woke up around midnight and couldn't sleep until about 4 a.m. I had to nap this afternoon too. Now, I'm not sleepy. I've got to get my sleep schedule back to somewhat normal.  

There are still some bugs to be worked out, but I'm hoping the computer works for the next post.